I’ve been looking at sperm donation, IVF and home Insemination today.
Looked him straight in the eye last week and said I could choose. Him or a baby and I wanted to go with him. Painful but possible. Time to move on. And I was lying!
Truth is I want both. Him and a baby and I can’t settle. It’s not working. I want it to work. I need it to but it’s not. I’m constantly in another place. My mind is so busy. So pained.
I’m so lost…
He said since losing his son through separation he will never be completely happy ever again.
Sadly, I now know that if I am able to choose him, I will never be completely happy again either.