I’m angry inside. I can’t tell you the exact moment I noticed it today but I am.
Perhaps I can’t tell you because I’ve felt this way for longer than the hours today has given me. Angry for ages. Pissed off, frustrated, stuck, unhappy and cross. Maybe that’s it.
I guess things are quieter these days and shit is getting noticed again. There’s no other noise to cover it. It’s exposed.
Argh! If that is the case I need to do something about it don’t I!?
Oh fucking fuck!
I fucking know I need to do something about it, don’t I!? I just don’t want to because it will be uncomfortable, sad and probably miserable. I’ll undoubtably feel guilty and worry about how I’m perceived. I’ll panic I’ve made the wrong decision and spend pointless hours staring out the window whimpering at the ‘poor me’ state of things.
Think I’ll just sit with it for a bit longer in case someone else does it for me. You know, gets so fucked off with me they force the change.